The Mall Trip
by Wolf Vantas
Summary: Jade decides to take everyone to the mall, but the trolls never been to the Mall so lets see how this ends.


Jade: let's go to the mall!

John: here comes hell...

Dave: Sure I'm fine with this, but Jade is there any...puppets?

Jade: no no!

Dave: good then I am going too

Karkat: Ok what on alternia is going on THIS time!?

Dave: sup Karkat you should really calm your troll tits for once

Karkat: troll tits?

Jade: Dont ask

Dave: they are pretty much big jugs size of melons at times on your chest

Karkat: wow...that is stupid

Jade: Let's just go to the mall!

Terezi: hold up you didn't invite Terezi Pyrope

Karkat: did you just use 3rd person what the fuck

Sollux: I don't honestly care so I'll just come

Karakt: what are we bringing the whole tribe!?

Eridan: yay sol is going so I'll come!

Sollux: fuck off fish dick

Eridan: lonely forever mode activated...nyeh...

Sollux: fucking hell...

Vriska: Well you guys aren't totally going without me! That's like soooo stupid!

Karkat: oh gog not you...

Sollux: hey, I have a theme song for you. Spider bitch, spider bitch, does whatever a spider bitch does; can she swing from a web? No she can't because she's an ugly bitch, look out its spider bitch. Like it?

Vriska: that...was...fucking...STUPID! *mind controls sollux and makes him slap himself* stop hitting yourself captor! I thought you were smarter than that! Oh is that a bitch slap!? Are you a girl!? That means you are lesbian to Aradia that you killed! No wonder why your attracted the "oh the big great leader!" Karkat vantas! I think he's more a "Big temperamental fucking dumb brainless destructive grub!"'

Karkat: ok...now that's uncalled for

Vriska: Oh shut up you disgusting fool!

Jade: guys guys! Shut the fuck up ok!

Dave: did you just swear? What the fuck Harley?

Jade: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Rose: let's just go

Nepeta: Yes AC agrees to Rose

Whole group: *goes to mall*

Jade: This is so much fun! Let's split up!

Karkat: hold up your leaving some of us trolls with a building full of pink monkeys that is yourself!?

Jade: excellent question Vantas, and the excellent answer is...yes *smiles and runs away taking Rose, John, Kanaya, Tav, Fef, Equius, Nepeta, John and aradia with her*

Karkat: b-but! ARGHHH!

Gamzee: T-tavbro... :0( Karbro, Jadesis stole Tavbro...

Karkat: I don't care!*storms off with Gamzee, Sollux, Eridan, Vriska and Terezi* that bitchass dog has all the pink monkeys with her; she did this on purpose I know! Worst of all she left me with the trolls I don't get along with! UGH I HATE MY LIFE!

Vriska: Looks like I'm stuck with you!

Jade: *hops back to Karkat* fine I'll be nice and come with you and I brought Dave with me so it's fair with the humans *smiles*

Dave: yo

Karkat: oh fuck...

Sollux: oh god someone kill me...

Vriska: with pleasure!

Karkat: NO!

Sollux: How about you die

Dave: yo guys you do realise you are saying weird shit around humans

Jade: yeah...let's just go and eat!

Karkat: fine...

Gamzee: Do they have Faygo and maybe soper pies?

Jade: no Gamzee...

Gamzee: Aw man this place motherfucking sucks D0:

Jade: Let's go! Follow me and Dave!

*everyone goes to a shop to get food*

Jade and Dave: *drinking water through a cup*

Karkat: that looks like a bucket! Gross mental images mental fucking images! Oh my god! Yuck! Stop drinking that shit! Right now! Right fucking now! Ewwww ew ew ew ewww! FUCKKK!

Dave: over dramatic much?

Karkat: S-SHUT UP!

Dave: *evil light bulb from da strider, takes an ice out of the cup*

Karkat: what are you doing!? NO! NO NO NO ! NO NO NO! NONONONONO!

Dave: *drops an ice down karkats shirt*

Jade: where did it go?

Karkat: *points dramatically on the ground* ON THE FLOOR!

Dave: ha ha ha ha karkat had bucket jizz on him *crosses arms*

Karkat: EW PERVETS!

Jade: Look baby bucket! *has a tiny cup*

Karkat: *death stares Jade* PAEDOPHILE!

Terezi: *licking Karkat's sickle* mmmmmmm!

Karkat: are you licking my shit!? WHAT THE FUCK! LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK!?

Terezi: Hey that's how I get around

Dave: *whispers* that's what she said

Terezi: not that way *licks*

Karkat: you're licking the blade! You're gonna cut of your fucking tongue! Then you won't be able to see smell see smell see smell whatever!

Person: Are you guys...like Otakus?

Jade: no thats Dave

Dave: yo

Karkat: *stands up* no, are you like seriously high off your ass that you can't even speak properly you bulgelicker son of an asshat!

Person: the hell you saying *grabs Karkats shirt collar*

Jade: Karkat! Shut your fucking trap you idiot!

Karkat: no! This guy has been eating too much soper even worse than gamzee! And that is bad! Like seriously you can't even see that I am your god! The cause of cancer apparently to your stupid fucking universe!

Person: uhhh dude and you call ME high *punches him in the face*

Karkat: *crashes into tables* ok that's i- *cups are everywhere on him that look like buckets* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET THEM OFF! GET THESE DISGUSTING OBJECTS OFF ME! WHO KNOWS WHO COULD OF USED THEIR GENETIC MATERIALS IN THESE OBJECTS OF HORROR!

Dave: see over dramatic

Vriska: oh my

Gamzee: I did not need to see that

Eridan: is karkat seducing me!?

Sollux: no fishdick

Terezi: because he's seducing me of course!

Karkat: I'M NOT SEDUCING ANYONE YOU PEICES OF SHIT! OK TIME TO FUCKING DIE! *gets out his sickles and charges at the person* I'LL CRUSH YOU!

Sollux: *sighs and snaps his fingers and boom Karkat is frozen*

Karkat: I-I CANT MOVE!

Sollux: next will be the lips like last time...

Karkat: let go of me!

Jade: *phone rings, answers* hello?

John: *over phone* jade we need to get back home...Tav crashed...Equius broke a store...Kanaya sliced a man in half...Nepeta got a hold of catnip...Rose is drunk...fef is stealing cuttlefishes...and Aradia luckily shes good...

Jade: HOLY SHIT!

John: I know...

Jade: *sighs* meet me at the car park...

John: alright...ROSE NO DONT DO THAT TYPE OF STUFF WITH KANAYA IN PUBLIC! NEPETA NO! I got to go...

Jade: bye...*hangs up*

Dave: Egbert can't handle them I see, heh what a derp.

Jade: alright guys! We are going to the car park!

Sollux: ok whatever *follows Jade using his psionics to drag Karkat with him*

*others follow*

Jade: *stops* where did we park?

Sollux: for fuck sake you bitch...

Karkat: OH COME ON! IM SO DONE WITH THIS SHIT!


End file.
